


(Don't You Try to Rain On My) Perfect Day

by xhorizen



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Legally Blonde AU, M/M, Slow Burn, Victor Garber as Clifton Sparks, romcom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25538170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xhorizen/pseuds/xhorizen
Summary: David Rose had it all - He graduated at the top of his class from NYU, he had the greatest boyfriend, Jake, and his life was going according to the plan he had set for himself since he was a child. That is, until Jake dumped him to go to law school and turned David's entire world upside down. The only way to win Jake back was to join him in law school and prove to him that David Rose was the perfect person to marry.That is, until a certain teacher's assistant shows up and helps David realize that he's perfect just the way he is.OR the Legally Blonde AU that no one asked for!(Brief David/Jake, please don't let that deter you!)
Relationships: Jake/David Rose (Schitt's Creek), Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd/Jake (Schitt's Creek)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here's my first attempt at a Schitt's Creek fic! This has been sitting in my drafts since April and I'm finally ready to get back to it! It's un-betaed, so all mistakes are my own. The prompt was given during the RomCom festival, but a different pairing was wanted, so I didn't snag that prompt... But I still wrote for it anyway! 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, I have loved writing this and can't wait to keep going!

A proposal was imminent, David was absolutely sure of it. He hadn’t been raised in an upscale family with access to everything high class to not know that his long term boyfriend, Jake, was going to propose. They’d been together for two years and Jake had just been accepted at Harvard Law School, so obviously the next step was a proposal. David had been waiting very patiently, if he did say so himself. He’d been hinting at it since their one year anniversary, and he knew that while Jake could be dense, he wasn’t stupid - He _had_ been accepted into Harvard, after all. 

He didn’t want to jinx himself by talking about something before it happened, but when Alexis showed up at his apartment with a coffee and scones, he couldn’t help himself. 

“Jake is going to propose tonight!” He exclaimed, a smile taking over his face as he accepted the coffee cup and bag of pastries. 

“Oh my god, David, no way! He did? When, how was it, was it, like, totally romantic? Were there doves? Please tell me there were doves!” She followed him into the living room and perched on his pristine, antique chaise lounge, captivated by the impending story. 

“Well, he hasn’t done it _yet_ , but I know he’s going to. We’re going out tonight, to that fancy french restaurant in Soho? And obviously he’s going to propose, we’ve been together for over two years, he just got accepted into law school, this is the obvious next step!” 

Alexis squealed and clapped her hands. “David, how exciting! I love this journey for you!” 

David smirked and gave a half shrug, not wanting to let on just how pleased with himself that he was. “I’ve picked out the perfect outfit, it’s going to blow him away. I’m having Helga come over to give me a facial in a bit, I need help relaxing before such a big evening.” 

“Absolutely, that's the most important thing for you to focus on right now,” She paused, leaning in a bit and squinting her eyes. “Besides, you have a spot right there, on your chin,” She reached out a finger, pointing to the left side of his face. “Hopefully Helga can work that right out for you.”

“Ugh, Alexis!” David put his cup down on the side table forcefully and pushed himself to a standing position. “Get out, right now. You’re no longer welcome here.” 

“God David, I was just trying to help, jeeze. Uptight much?” She didn’t show any sign of protest however, she just got up and walked to the front door. Her hand was on the knob when she looked back at her brother. “I’m really happy for you, David.” 

As much as he wanted to hold a grudge, a small grin formed on his lips and he had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep it from getting any bigger. “Thanks, Alexis.”

\---

David was used to upscale restaurants, where the prices for the items weren’t on the menu and almost anything could be made to order, regardless if it was on the menu or not. When he walked into _Le Coucou_ with Jake at his side, he wasn’t overly impressed. It was a typical restaurant, and it lived up to his standards. When they were led to the chef’s table, however, he let himself be a little bit impressed with the lengths Jake had gone to for such a special occasion. 

“You’re really pulling out all the stops tonight.” David gently teased as he sat down. Jake flashed his picture perfect smile and nodded his head. 

“Yeah, it seemed like the right place for tonight, ya know?” 

David felt his heart skip a beat at Jake’s words - It was actually going to happen!

“Yes, well, you know my standards are high, so clearly you’ve done your homework on making the best impression.” David reached across the table and placed his hand over one of Jake’s, giving it a small squeeze. 

Jake didn’t say anything in return, just looked down at the menu. David followed suite, knowing he would need to get at least two entrees in order to have enough to feel full. Five star restaurants were great and all, but their portion sizes left a lot to be desired. 

When the waitress came around, she had two champagne flutes on her tray and set one down in front of each of them. David picked up his glass and held it out to the middle of the table. “To us.” 

Jake reached out and clinked his glass, though he still didn’t say anything. David’s stomach dropped, but he tried to bat the feeling away - He was just catastrophizing any little thing he could find to try to ruin what should be the perfect night. 

“So, David,” Jake put his glass down and folded his hands on the table in front of him. “I asked you to come here tonight because I wanted to talk to you about our future.” 

“And I’m fully amenable to that discussion.” David replied, hoping his anxiety wasn’t peeking through. 

“I mean, we’re having fun right now, right? We have been for a couple of years. But things are gonna be different when I start at Harvard in the fall. It’s a completely different world, I have to be serious.”

“Of course.” David nodded and hoped the smile on his face was supportive.

“My family expected a lot from me. And I expect a lot from me. I plan on running for office one day.” 

“I fully support that.” David interjected. He’d spent many a night thinking about the different events politicians got to go to and planning outfits that were chic and fabulous, but wouldn’t pull focus from his amazing husband. 

“But the thing is, if I’m going to be a senator by the time I’m 30, I have to stop dicking around.” 

“Absolutely.” David was getting impatient and while he didn’t want to ruin the perfect moment, he really just wished that Jake would get on with it. 

“I think…” Jake paused and it took everything in David not to reach across the table and smother him with kisses while screaming “Yes!” at the top of his lungs. “I think we should break up.” 

David felt his entire body freeze. His stomach that had been doing jumping jacks since Jake had started talking suddenly felt like lead inside of his body and he felt like he was going to throw up. 

“What?” He said quietly, placing his glass of champagne back down on the table.

“I’m sorry David, I just -”

“You’re breaking up with me?” David’s voice rose in volume and in pitch. He was vaguely aware of the people around them starting to look over at their table, but he didn’t care. “I thought you were proposing!”

“Proposing?” Jake visibly flinched back from his words. “David, if I’m going to be a politician, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Harvey Milk.”

“You’re breaking up with me because I’m too, because I’m a GUY?!” David’s blood was boiling and the urge to throw his champagne into Jake’s face was great.

“That's not entirely -” 

“Then what? Is my fashion sense too out there?” 

“What, David, no, your fashion sense is fine.” 

Tears started building in David’s eyes and he immediately tried to swipe them away - Crying in public was for the unfortunate and the poor. “So when you said that you would always love me, you were just dicking around?”

“David, sweetheart, I do love you. I just can’t marry you. You don’t understand the amount of pressure I’m under, My family has five generations of senators. My brother is in the top three at Yale Law! He just got engaged to a Vanderbilt, for christ’s sake.”

David lost the battle against his tears as he felt them start to stream down his cheeks. He wanted to say something, anything, that would make Jake change his mind, but he was at a loss. 

“It’s not like I had a choice, sweetheart.” Jake said in a voice David assumed was supposed to be soothing. 

David was speechless - For the first time in his life, he was absolutely speechless. He suddenly became aware of all of the eyes on him and glanced around the restaurant, catching a few people’s eyes. They looked back at him with pity and that was his breaking point. David pushed his seat back and got up from the table, giving Jake a look he hoped would kill him before storming out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah oh my god thank you guys so much for your reactions to this fic! I'm so happy people are enjoying it and I love sharing what I've created with you guys! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think of chapter 2!

David hadn’t washed his hair in four days. His nightly skincare routine hadn’t been done in the same amount of time, and he just couldn't bring himself to care. He’d woken up every morning since the break up with a headache from crying himself to sleep the night before. He’d then turn the TV on and take out a box of Valentine’s chocolates he liked to keep stashed under his bed for midnight snacks, eating them as he let the hours pass by watching old episodes of one of the Real Housewives franchises. He ignored his phone, listening to it chirp with new texts or social media notifications - Nothing mattered to him anymore. Even his Instagram page, which usually brought him great joy, hadn’t been updated and David was very careful about doing that at least once a day - It was part of his brand. 

A few of his friends had come by his apartment and knocked for a few minutes, but David never acknowledged them or made a move to answer, and after the second day, he had been left alone to wallow in his misery. The morning of the fifth day post break up, a loud pounding on the door jolted him from his position on the couch. 

“DAVID ROSE! Come answer this door and let me inside!” Alexis’ voice rang out from the other side of the locked door and David let out a low groan. The last thing he wanted was for his sister to come into his apartment and see just how depressed he’d gotten. He knew he looked like a complete slob, that was the whole point of not showering for days on end, but he didn’t feel like having to justify it to her. As much as he believed that Alexis had good intentions, she had a bad habit of saying things that came across really rude and uncaring. 

Though, if David was forced to think about it, he had a similar pattern when it came to interacting with other people. Hmm. He decided to table that thought for another time. 

Alexis knocked a few more times and yelled out some empty threats, but David just blocked her voice out - he’d gotten really good at it as a kid, scarily good at it, actually. Finally, the noise stopped and David was able to let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He knew he would have to face her sooner or later, but the later he could have that happen, the better. Alexis would make him confront the sad truths about his life and he was pleasantly content in wallowing in self pity. 

Something scratched at his patio door and before David could get up to investigate, the door had been pushed open and Alexis walked in, a look of irritation all over her face. 

“Did you not hear me knocking, David? Ugh!” She put her purse down on the coffee table and then surveyed her surroundings, a clear look of distaste coming over it. 

“Since when do you know how to pick a lock?” David sat up and pulled the blanket covering his body closer around him, as though to shield Alexis from the worst of the mess.

“Uh, since I had to figure out a way to get me and my friends out of an Egyptian prince’s jail quarters in high school.” She rolled her eyes and sighed, as though her statement wasn’t the least bit shocking. “What are you doing here?” Alexis picked up a discarded blanket on the couch and threw it to the love seat before settling herself in its place. 

“Hello, I live here?” David knew what she was asking, but he had a naive hope that he could distract her enough to make her forget why she had shown up in the first place. 

“Ugh, David, you know what I mean!” Alexis rolled her eyes again and leaned against the back of the couch, making herself more comfortable. “You’ve fallen off the face of the earth for almost a week, people are talking.” 

“Who cares?” David quipped, though he knew that the real answer was that he cared. He cared a whole lot. 

“David.” Alexis’ voice settled and when he met her gaze, he had to break eye contact immediately - the pity Alexis was sending his way was enough to make him physically ill. 

“I’m fine, Alexis. You don’t need to be here.” David knew as soon as the lie left his mouth, it didn’t sound even remotely convincing, but he was too drained to try again. 

“You’re allowed to be upset, David, but you need to take care of yourself. You look like you haven’t bathed in weeks, and your hair looks like it’s made its own gel line.” She stood up from the couch and walked to the front door, flipping on the light switch next to it. The room instantly brightened with artificial lighting and David had to shield his face to avoid the pain. 

“God, Alexis, stop it! Turn that off, I don’t want it on and I don’t need you here to coach me through the absolute worst thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.” He paused. “And that includes the time mom tried to enroll me in fat camp when I was eight!” 

“You can hate me all you want, David, but as your sister, it’s my duty to do this.” She walked back over to him and yanked his blanket off of him. “We’re going to the spa and getting mani pedis.”

David opened his mouth to protest, but the look on Alexis’ face scared him into submission. She wasn’t the type of person who wouldn’t drag him out of his condo in his pajamas and he knew it.

“I hate you.” He grumbled as he got up and headed for his closet. Depressed and broken up with or not, David Rose didn’t leave the house in _sweatpants_.

\--

Alexis had forced David to sit in the pedicure chair next to her, ignoring all of his wishes to be left alone. Part of him wanted to fight her, to remind her who the older sibling in the relationship was, dammit, but he was still so tired and didn’t feel like expelling the energy. So he sat in his chair, not even enjoying the foot massage he was getting, while Alexis chatted away to her nail tech. 

“Doesn’t he look so depressed? His boyfriend dumped him a week ago, it was so sad. They went out for dinner and David thought Jake was going to propose and instead, he dumped him!”

Both Alexis’ nail tech and David’s nail tech looked at him and shook their heads on his behalf. “And now,” Alexis continued, causing David to finally muster up enough energy to glare at her. “He hasn’t showered in days and his apartment looks like a crack house!” 

“Dammit, Alexis, can you please shut up?!” David finally exploded. 

She didn’t even look a little bit guilty for the things she said in his earshot and just shrugged, turning her attention to her phone. David looked at the chair next to him and saw a _People_ magazine sitting there, the latest edition. He reached out and snagged it, hoping that some celebrity had had a worse week than he had. 

As he flipped through the pages, he found that he couldn’t concentrate very well, but a picture at the bottom of the page somewhere in the middle of the issue caught his eye. He squinted down at it and read the caption.

“Oh my god!” He sat up straight and thrust the magazine into his sister’s face. “Do you know who this is?!” He didn’t give her a chance to answer. “This is Jake’s older brother!” He jabbed his pointer finger at the picture excitedly. “Joshua Mackenzie Bolles!” David squinted down at the caption again and continued reading. “And his fiance, Linda Jane Vanderbilt, first year, Yale Law…”

He looked up at Alexis as a plan formed in his head. “Do you know what this means?” 

Alexis had a look on her face that showed she was completely lost as to what David was even remotely talking about. “Uh, no?” 

“This is the type of person Jake wants to marry! This is what I need to become serious!” 

Alexis reached out and yanked the magazine from David’s hand, squinting down at the picture herself. “What, practically deformed?”

“No!” David jumped up from the chair, ignoring the protests from his nail tech about getting the floors all wet. “A law student!”


End file.
